There is an art and a grace to being single, which I don’t think I have mastered quite yet. Really, it teaches you how to be brave and take huge leaps of faith. When you make big decisions you don’t have to take anyone else into account really, but you also don’t have anyone to help you make those decisions. It is getting close to graduation and that means that I have to make some big decisions. What city should I look for jobs in? Do I stay in Utah? Do I go to the east coast? Do I move to London? Being single means that in theory I can go anywhere I want, that is both simultaneously exciting and terrifying!
There are times when I enjoy the “perks” of being single. The ability to decide to up and go to Boston this weekend, just for fun or buy a new pair of jeans, just because I feel like it. When I imagine my future there are two versions, depending on my mood. When I am grateful to be single I imagine moving to Africa and teaching English and Health to underprivileged groups, or traveling across America and teaching in underprivileged school districts, while simultaneously capturing my experience and the experience of those around me on video or in a blog. It sounds magical and exciting! One moment this dream fills me with excitement and the next I am afflicted with fear and doubt. I wonder if I am brave enough to act on this dream. Then there are the times when I long to be in a serious relationship. I imagine moving to Salt Lake to stay closer to him for a year as he finishes up school, or as we plan our future life together. The added bonus here is that my sister would live close by. In my dreams it is uncertain where I would work in Salt Lake City, but he would be supportive of my dreams and we would work together to make them happen. Maybe we would even embark on our international journey together, or pick a city where we could both attend grad schools in programs if that is what we desire. This seems to be the safer option to me, but it also scares me that I don’t know how my future would turn out. Being single is an interesting thing, it is both exciting and terrifying as I look to the future. Life is full of fear regardless of my circumstance, and I know the only way to move forward is to have faith. “Everything will work out in the end, and if it doesn’t, it’s not the end” - John Lennon. Whether I continue to be perpetually single or I marry, some dreams will be achieved and others will be sacrificed. I may not know much, but I know that this life can be so good, and it is up to us to choose our destiny choice by choice. The art of being single is pressing forward in faith and being happy regardless of circumstances. The Lord has a plan and you just have to trust in that. You master the art form when you can accept yourself and your life what it is and be happy. So, come at me life, let’s see what you have for me!
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AuthorI am Izsie. I feel deeply, which is a curse and a blessing and I love to rant. Archives
March 2017
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